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impressing people

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I’ve been reading the simple dollar again, in particular a post about impressing people. It starts like this:

Imagine, just for a moment, that you find yourself on a desert island with just you and four or five of your closest friends and relatives - the people you care about the most in this world. The only people around are the people that care about you.

On this island, you can have whatever house you want and the items you want to have. But you’re just on this island with just the people that care about you. No one else will see you. Judge you. Draw conclusions about you.

Now, am I the only person in the world that thinks that the people who I care most about would in fact judge me?

For example, I would almost certainly include my brothers and sisters in this list of people but if they lived nearby and came round more often, I’d be forced to tidy up the house a lot more. Frankly, I’m lazy and my house can descend into virtual squalour really easily. I don’t want them to see that (they know I’m lazy). And heaven forbid if someone invited my mother.

Similarly, even though my closest friends would love me anyway I don’t think they’d be too impressed with my diet, which has far too much junk food in it.

Maybe, I’m really saying that I’m ashamed of these things and think that I should change. Probably. But I don’t care enough to actually do so. For me, life is too short. I tidy up when people come round, and when I cook for others it’s pretty good. People that love you anyway, will still try to improve you.

Yes, I’m keeping up appearances for the outside world, even my nearest and dearest. What’s the problem with that?

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6 comments for “impressing people”

  1. plonkee - nothing wrong with that as long as you don’t spend money doing it. Ask your friends and family if they care? Probably they don’t.

    Posted by Mr. ToughMoneyLove | October 13, 2008, 1:12 pm
  2. I think it’s natural to want to present the best ‘you’ to the people who mean the most to you. If you’re lucky the real you is the one that the closest people to you see. But you’re right, the people who love you most can often be the hardest critics. My attitude is, if they don’t like it, too bad!

    Posted by FruGal | October 13, 2008, 3:58 pm
  3. Honestly your friends and family probably really wouldn’t care about your diet or the state of your house (except maybe your mother, they always notice).
    Last week some friends got together at short notice at another friends house, she was embarrassed by the mess and the dog hair, but none of us cared or even really noticed, we just enjoyed hanging out together.
    If I have friends coming I do make an effort to tidy up, but they have also seen my apartment in some pretty bad states and I don’t feel they have judged me- who keeps an immaculate home all the time?
    If you don’t care enough to make the change, you probably shouldn’t even waste the time and energy worrying about it.

    Posted by Looby | October 13, 2008, 6:06 pm
  4. Looby’s right, as usual. They wouldn’t care and furthermore would just feel comfortable to stuff themselves, take their socks off and dump them on the sofa, wear the same t-shirt two days in a row, etc themselves. At least, that’s how my family works. If the family visiting is the catalyst to get you to finally hoover the floors (like, uh, someone I know) then it’s all good, but not worth stressing about.

    Posted by guinness416 | October 14, 2008, 12:29 am
  5. @Looby and guinness416:
    I guess I get quite a bit of grief in general for being messy. I honestly have never managed to keep a space tidy for longer than a couple of days. My closest friends and family, not so much. I think I fear being exposed as not capable enough to run my own life.

    Of course, none of my friends and family care even the slightest. (Apart from my mother.) Whilst I’m not living in ridiculously close proximity to them, it’s not a problem in real life either.

    Posted by plonkee | October 14, 2008, 8:14 am
  6. Nothing is wrong with that, but keep in mind one little thing that hopefully helps:

    Never compare my insides to other people’s outsides, cause when it comes down to it, and everyone placed their problems on the table, they would all gladly take theirs back, instead of someone else’s. (I have found)

    Posted by stocks | October 16, 2008, 2:13 am

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