Sep

27

standing up to the green-eyed monster

Filed Under plonkee 

Being envious is dangerous.

I’ve got a friend who is a few years older than me who has been in a long term relationship for about 10 years. Together they own the house that they live in and have another investment property. They have a sports car, which their selling to replace with a BMW. In the past year they’ve been on four foreign holidays.

There are a few key reasons why my friends can afford so much more than me. Because they are a few years older, they purchased their first house prior to the recent housing boom. They have friends who work for airlines and so they can get discounted travel. They earn on half as much again as I do, each. There are two of them, and this gives savings. They also carry credit card debt and have a car loan.

I’ve been deeply envious of my friend since we met. I want a nice house, a relationship, foreign holidays, and all the trappings of success. Its a good job that my fear of debt has meant that I haven’t acted on my jealous feelings, I reckon I’d be owing the credit card companies thousands and thousands.

On the other hand, I’m still allowing my envy to affect my own life. When I don’t look at their lifestyle, I am actually happy with mine. I don’t really want their house (because mine is beautiful) or car (driving kills the planet). I’d love to go on holiday a lot, but I genuinely prefer - and can afford - budget travel. I may not have a boyfriend, but I have my much valued independence and many wonderful friends. I’d rather be young, on balance.

I vow that from this day on I will no longer look at their lifestyle with envy. Instead I will remind myself that I am living my dreams. It might be in a small way, but they’re still being realised.

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Comments

10 Responses to “standing up to the green-eyed monster”

  1. Definately Not Fred on September 27th, 2007 12:08 pm

    What’s stopping you getting a boyfriend?

  2. plonkee on September 27th, 2007 2:04 pm

    Blimey. Well I’m not hideous or completely socially inept, if that’s what you’re asking :) .

    Whilst I’m fortunate enough to know many wonderful and interesting people, I haven’t met anyone I’m actually interested in since I split up with my last boyfriend.

  3. Amber Yount on September 27th, 2007 2:27 pm

    I understand, all my “ouples” friends have now bought, or are buying a home. We wanted to buy one too, but being self-employed in the market crunch, well, its not going to happen for at least a year.

  4. Llama for brains on September 27th, 2007 2:37 pm

    Do you have a checklist for an ideal boyfriend?

    I didn’t imply anything about you personally…!

  5. plonkee on September 27th, 2007 6:59 pm

    I don’t have a check list for an ideal boyfriend, I’d be interested in a cute intelligent guy who wasn’t a financial disaster. Pretty vague as its just whoever catches my eye/mind.

  6. glblguy on September 28th, 2007 2:55 am

    Those BMWs get me everytime…I have serious BMW envy issues.

    Great article!

  7. Llama for brains on September 28th, 2007 10:08 am

    Well… I’m a guy… that’s a start isn’t it?

    ;)

  8. Mrs. Micah on October 1st, 2007 7:40 pm

    Though you don’t put it that way, it sounds like you’re counting blessings. When someone tells me to count my blessings it often sounds trite. But when I start thinking about how much I love my life (most of it) then it’s wonderful.

    Congrats on having a life you like to live. :-)

  9. plonkee on October 2nd, 2007 8:35 am

    @Mrs. Micah:
    You’re quite right, I am ‘counting my blessings’ in a positive way. I reckon I need to do it as often as possible.

  10. John Davenstar on October 20th, 2007 1:36 pm

    Thanks for what you said. It seems I have thought the wrong way… until now. Hope this helps also.

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