plonkee money an english-er's thoughts on personal finance

May 22, 2007

accepting money from parents

Filed under: philosophical — plonkee @ 4:34 pm

I am a very independent person and always have been. I prefer to do things by myself, without any help thank you very much. A lot of the time this extends to money. I prefer to find information out myself and understand what’s going on rather than hire an expert to do it for me. I don’t believe people know what they are talking about without checking it out first. You might not think that this is part of being an independent person, but it is to me.

So, in my head I don’t think that I should accept money from my parents and I’m quite scornful of people my own age that are obviously supported in part by theirs especially when accepting this sort of support also means accepting the attached strings. In many ways I try and avoid asking for my parents help in general. I certainly wouldn’t ask them for money. I’ve become more comfortable with asking them to do non-monetary favours for me, although I still much prefer to do things by myself.

In practice however, when my parents offer me money, I sometimes accept. I spent a month in New Zealand a couple of years ago and half the money came from one of my parents. My forthcoming new house will be without decent appliances and when one of them offered to buy me a cooker I gratefully accepted.

I was wondering why I act in opposition to how I think I should. I considered all the times in my adult life that either of my parents have offered me money. Much of the time I do refuse, particularly the first time its offered. I will say things like you don’t have to do that. But if they persist, I will accept graciously. Maybe I realise that they would be offended if I turn them down. Maybe they would actually be pleased if I turned them down.For me it comes down to this, should I stake out my independence more firmly by refusing offers of financial help from my parents, or should I accept their gifts graciously and the ties that bind us?

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